MOVIE REVIEW: “The Wrong Missy” stars David Spade (Tommy Boy, Joe Dirt), Lauren Lapkus (Jurassic World, Crashing [TV series]), Nick Swardson (The Ridiculous 6, The Benchwarmers), Geoff Pierson (Dexter [TV series], 24 [TV series]), Jackie Sandler (Hubie Halloween, Paul Blart: Mall Cop), Molly Sims (Yes Man, Fired Up!), Sarah Chalke (Scrubs [TV series], Chaos Theory), Chris Witaske (Lady Bird, Love [TV series]), and Rob Schneider (Big Daddy, Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo). It is directed by Tyler Spindel (Father of the Year, Love and Germophobia [Short]), and written by Chris Pappas (The Do-Over, Unhitched [TV series]) and Kevin Barnett (Hall Pass, The Heartbreak Kid). Thinking that he invited the woman of his dreams to a business trip in Hawaii, Tim Morris (Spade) suddenly realizes that he had been texting the wrong girl, instead inviting a horrible blind date her had three months ago.

You’ve gotta be desperate to queue up “The Wrong Missy” one odd night at the stroke of twelve a.m. Why didn’t I pick something else? I was dead tired, wanted to see a film to get a review in, and couldn’t absorb something over an hour and a half. Hence “The Wrong Missy,” a movie I was surprised to see released a few months ago. David Spade acted in another comedy? AND they got him to shave the beard and cut the hair? Geez. This must be an important role. Spade returns to the classic straight man role he dominated in his early career, only this time the film isn’t quite spectacular.

First and foremost, I have to say that “The Wrong Missy” is watchable. I’ll give it that. In that hour and thirty minute span, I was only checking out mentally towards the end. Sure, I detested certain story elements and despised certain characters, but for the most part, this flick does well in keeping the punches rolling and moving along with haste. The opening plays into this, as we are instantly thrown into the awful meet-up of one Tim Morris and his crazy blind date Missy (Lapkus). She’s terrible. Forget crazy, she’s just terrible. I hated her character and knew that, even though the structure of this tale will try to make her more genuine and likeable as it progressed, I would never care for her. They went too far and wrote her to be flat-out obnoxious, annoying, and overbearing. Maybe it’s because all she talks about is sex and curses like a sailor…

It’s easy to dog on this movie. Anyone can do it, and I don’t plan to because that would be crass. Instead, I will take a different, more constructive approach. “The Wrong Missy” has elements that could have worked, if they were executed properly. The concept is interesting and somewhat unique, lending to a sandbox of opportunities that the writers can explore. Where they take the story can waver when it comes to laughs, but at least the plot is basic enough to make it an easy watch. I enjoyed certain moments, particularly when it came to the comedians placed in this story. Schneider and Swardson are golden tickets in my book, and while they are definitely type-casted to pool a few cheap laughs, at least they get the job done. As for Spade, I thought he carried the lead well, albeit for a silly character shift that would’ve never worked for me.

We all know how a film like this goes. Those stories where our hero is saddled with a lunatic always leads to him realizing just how lovable (or “human”) they actually are. However, as I said before, Missy is irredeemable. She’s the same girl, from beginning to end (at least they’re consistent); same flaws that Tim hated, he ends up loving. And why? I have no idea. If it were me, I’d run for the hills. Or at least make this bad-mouthed, juvenile girl only putting up a front for something deeper. That would make more sense. The writers tried to do this, but beneath that gross, lustful exterior was just a slightly less gross, slightly less lustful interior. In the end, I didn’t buy it, and the movie crumbled. Granted, it was doomed to fall apart with it leaning heavily on sex-related humor and bad language to garner the laughs. That was never my cup of tea.

Is “The Wrong Missy” the worst thing you’ll ever see? No. Really, this movie is just your run-of-the-mill raunchy romp with comedians you know and a story you’ll forget in a few months (or sooner). It’s a shame, because the concept can give way to great scenarios, but at the end of the day I could care less. It’s mindless entertainment that does what it set out to do. It has its audience, and if you’re apart of it, you’ll enjoy it. Otherwise, it’s best to avoid this booty text. FINAL SCORE: 55%= Burnt Popcorn

Here is the trailer: